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2015 Wasn't Actually Too Terrible, Right?

I know. I’m late. My last name is DeLay. What did you expect? The Spanish Inquisition? The answer is that nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! (See Here For Help If You Do Not Get My Reference)

Last year I wrote about what a challenge 2014 had been and that despite all the rough goings on, I still would have done it all over again. So I’ve been thinking about this last year. I tackled Spring and Fall semesters at MSU Denver. I managed to stay working at Starbucks. I succeeded in accomplishing high grades in both my semesters and made a friend or two. Oh and yes, I picked up a girlfriend in the chaos of August and managed to hold on to her through piles of projects and a barrage of essays and finals.

Today is the 4th day of 2016. It feels much like every day in the world does without the constructs of time, dates or human labels. There’s always the momentary realization that New Years Eve and Day is entirely a human creation. The reality of the days ahead is that many of us will not change our direction, our hearts or our beliefs. We’ll keep on marching onward with nary a thought for what real change means and how we can realistically implement that in our lives. We’ll make lists. And some of it will stick. But most of it is useless chaff to be burned off as we continue to blast our way forward.

I say all this but I’m as guilty as the next guy. I’ve got lists in my head a mile long, high and deep. We’re always wanting to be better at things, do things differently to make a difference and do things smarter. We spend (myself included) loads of time planning, plotting and pursuing this idea when I’m not sure it’s all that helpful.

I worry that spending all that time is, well, wasteful. I worry that I’m missing out on adventures I could be experiencing because I’m too busy reflecting on my crumbly parts and how I can patch them up when maybe its OK to let that part fall away and something new be built upon the sterling foundation. This is still a thought in progress, so bear with me if it sounds a little kooky and/or hinky.

School kicks off on the 19th. I’m sure there will be plenty of panicking, teeth gnashing and sackcloth tearing as the date gathers nearer. Until then, I’ll be making lists. But not checking them twice.

I ain’t Santa.

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